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Download : The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Far
out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the
western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.
Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an
utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose apedescended
life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital
watches are a pretty neat idea. This planet has - or rather had - a
problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for
pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this
problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements
of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it
wasn't the small
green pieces of paper that were unhappy.
And
so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of
them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were
increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in
coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that
even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have
left the oceans. And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years
after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would
be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in
a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had
been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world
could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it
would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.
Sadly,
however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone about it, a
terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever.
This is not her story. But it is the story of that terrible stupid
catastrophe and some of its consequences. It is also the story of a
book, a book called The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - not an
Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible
catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.
Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book. in fact it was probably the
most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses
of Ursa Minor - of which no Earthman had ever heard either. Not only
is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one -
more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling
than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial
than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where
God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this
God Person Anyway? In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the
Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already
supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard
repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many
omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly
inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two
important respects.
First,
it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic
inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover. But the story of
this terrible, stupid Thursday, the story of its extraordinary
consequences, and the story of how these consequences are
inextricably intertwined with this remarkable book begins very
simply.
It
begins with a house.
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